Life can be divide into those things we can do and those things we can’t do. It would be impossible for many of us to run a marathon, but then many people do. For some, presenting to a large group of people would be a major problem, while others love nothing better than putting on a performance in front of an audience. This is acceptable and understandable in normal life.
However anxiety, low mood, fears and lack of self-confidence are among issues that may prevent us from including things in our normal lives that we would dearly love to do. Socialising, meeting new people, speeches and job interviews for example can be a real problem for some. In extreme circumstances, fears can make just leaving the house an impossible task.
We can think of those things we are able do as lying below our control bar and those things we cannot do, sit above our control bar. So, to take control over new or difficult things, we need to raise the control bar. This can be done if the activity is broken down into small achievable steps – like training for a marathon. As each small step is achieved, the bar is raised a little and that goal gets closer.
By aiming for that future goal with this Solution Focused approach, there will be small achievements along the way, perhaps things we hadn’t even considered, that increase confidence and self-esteem and encourage further progress.